Dearest dears,
As a confirmed aficionado of all things twirly and pink, it gives me absolute glee to announce the impending return of the grandest spectacle known to mankind: the Ballet! That’s right, you haven't dreamt it. Forget your dreary Monday morning commute, the woes of the weekly grocery shop, the ghastly, unforgivable horrors of your aunt’s knitted jumpers – we are going back to the time of silken slippers, swirling tulle, and that glorious, magical feeling you get when the stage lights illuminate the first arabesque.
It has been officially announced (rumoured by whisper, leaked via secret squirrel) that February 20th, 2005 will be marked as the date of ballet’s return to global domination. Don’t get your knickers in a twist, my lovelies! We are not talking about a grand revival, a one-off charity gala or a dusty old panto. This is a proper, full-on, take-no-prisoners revolution!
Prepare for a renaissance in frilly frocks and feathered fans, in tutus and leotards (I can hear those leotards crackling now, can't you?) in dainty décolletage and divinely-long limbs, and don't even get me started on the tights! Yes, ladies, get those perfectly-shaped thighs into some fishnets! We are back, darling! And back with a bang! (Don’t worry, it'll all be perfectly graceful… and perhaps just the slightest bit scandalous…)
The revolution has been simmering for months, perhaps even years, but we're officially back. I dare you, yes YOU! To deny the call. To ignore the urge to whip your best rendition of a pirouette in the living room and let the chiffon (the colour's undecided; think pale pinks or a symphony of crisp white) float around you! This is it. Our moment, dears. And the world, you will be stunned, simply stunned! (Just take it from your beloved fashion and ballet expert - we’ll all be swans... even you, darling! Remember what we've learned from Black Swan.)
Speaking of the ballet, do we know anything? Can I spill the tea yet, lovelies? Are there new dancers in the line-up? I am desperate for some tea. Tell me all, whisper to me. We can start planning!
What to do? What to wear? A little dress (you'll find an inspiration here!) perhaps something with tulle for maximum flow? It’s time for a spot of “self-improvement" to boot: start stretching now. It's the least you can do before we launch back into that "jeté" on February 20th.
Here is our rundown of essentials to bring your ballet spirit home:
- First and foremost, my lovelies, you need some music! And we’re talking real, old-fashioned ballet music, Tchaikovsky and Strauss to get you in the mood! Classical music is perfect for cultivating an appreciation for the elegant and refined.
- For our little princesses, let’s get you some of that beautiful tulle – in pink, of course – or a delightful white tutu for your next visit to the theatre, shall we?
- Don’t forget your shoes! Now is the time for those delicate pointe shoes that every little girl dreams of.
- Now for the final flourish – get a lovely dance teacher to whip you into shape. Nothing beats a little old-school tuition for some lovely, graceful steps!
For now, however, the question is simple – how do you feel? Excited? Ecstatic? It’s hard to think of the future right now; let's get lost in the world of elegance and dance... Oh, and do start practising. You know it's essential if you’re going to hold your own when you’re on the front row. The last thing you need is a stumble! A girl must never stumble... not after this much anticipation!
For the ballet gods are on our side! And they say "The future is feminine and twirling, the future is here. And you are most definitely part of it!"