Ballet: It's Not All Tutu and Leotards, Darling!
Oh, the sheer romance of ballet! Graceful dancers pirouette across the stage, their tulle skirts billowing like clouds, their pink leotards clinging to their lithe forms like second skins. The music swells, the lights dim, and the air crackles with anticipation. This is the stuff of dreams, darling, the kind that leaves you utterly captivated and utterly convinced that you could float across the stage with the same effortless beauty.
Except⊠the reality is quite different, isn't it?
Here in the real world, behind the glamour and glitter, itâs a lot of, âYouâre turning your foot out wrong, darling! No, that's a demi pliĂ©, not a grand jetĂ©! And for goodness sake, could you just stay on pointe?!â
Honestly, ballet, even after all these years, can still be a complete and utter nightmare! Itâs a constant battle between aching muscles, dodgy buns and trying to not trip over one's own perfectly pointed toes (you know, the ones that look incredibly chic, but make walking an actual challenge, especially in high heels!).
The most ridiculous thing about ballet is, you know, the whole 'tututus and leotards' thing, it's such a cliche. You know what's worse? The expectation of "white tutus!" For heavenâs sake, how much ballet do people think they watch, that a white tutu would actually be considered the right thing to wear? (Actually, maybe it's not such a crazy expectation, we all *do* watch those romantic little Nutcracker films that our grandmothers insisted we would 'enjoy' every Christmas⊠)
Of course, my love for ballet is deeply, *passionately* deep. But it takes real guts (and maybe a touch of madness) to even attempt a grand jetĂ© after, say, a year of 'breakage.' (Iâm pretty sure Iâve aged a decade every time Iâve tried!)
There are a few simple tips, however, for navigating the tutu-wearing landscape with the elegance and finesse that this hallowed dance demands! Think of me, dear reader, as your trusty ballet mentor for this most essential life skill!
Essential Rules for Surviving Ballet!
- Rule Number One: Embrace the pink and the white! Don't even try to fight it! The pink leotard is non-negotiable, a symbol of grace, purity and a splash of color, it makes everything more stylish. As for the tutus⊠well, white, of course, and perhaps a little pink accent in the ribbon for a bit of whimsical whimsy.
- Rule Number Two: Invest in the right pointe shoes. You need something with a bit of cushioning for your poor tootsies, and absolutely no flimsy-ness! I recommend âBlochâ, âGaynor Mindenâ, or if you want to go for real luxe, âGrishkoâ. Just try to avoid anything 'over-engineered.' Donât be tempted by those silly, expensive, fancy âtoe-shoesâ! (I know they look super-professional and the ads promise a âlighter touchâ and all that jazz⊠but, honestly, they feel clunky and uncomfortable and your instructor probably wonât know what they are!).
- Rule Number Three: Get yourself a gorgeous dance bag that's as sophisticated as your ballet training (that's a very important life skill in itself, and it's very much linked to your dancewear, just as 'work-wear' is linked to your workbag⊠which is another whole 'work of art', as they say.) I mean, itâs vital that it be large enough to carry your shoes, makeup, dance tights, a backup leotard (in case something awful happens! It *will* happen!), and perhaps a flask of something calming and very definitely pink-tinged! (Personally, I use my dance bag for all sorts of essentials, now I don't really even do the dancing so much. ).
- Rule Number Four: Wear your hair in a classic ballet bun, darling, it's just elegant. However, if you absolutely refuse, you can always make your bun, let your hair down when you're leaving class, then (as your very own *dance* therapist, I must sayâŠ) take off your tights before the journey home.
- Rule Number Five: It goes without saying that the dance floor should never, *ever* be left until the very end of class, darling! Never give up! Every pliĂ© and relevĂ© brings you one step closer to ballet bliss, even if your feet look a little 'un-smooth' in those beautiful new âpointe shoesâ. (And I am, naturally, being a tad *exaggerated* here â *please* keep those delicate new shoes in their box. Nothing ruins an amazing class quite like your fabulous pointe shoes becoming slightly, errrmm⊠ahem! *less than fabulous*.)
- Rule Number Six: Do remember that not every class has to be a 'masterpiece', darling. Ballet can also be 'work'. So, be your own lovely ballet critic: allow yourself to dance âwildâ for a class and not bother if those jetĂ©s are all over the shop, or your posture is a little off⊠Youâll look graceful either way. (But never dance when you havenât had a good warm up or else your feet will really 'go overâ! Oh, darling⊠*no* one wants that.).
- Rule Number Seven: When your feet hurt so much that you feel like you're dancing on razors and those *gorgeous* pointe shoes feel more like pointy sticks of doom and you simply *can't* possibly even *imagine* attempting to point your feet⊠Just sit. It happens, darling, it happens to the best of us. I call it the âdance-tranceâ, but you might call it an awful ballet-related 'disaster'!
I don't know if it's the leotards or the tutu, or those amazing pointe shoes but ballet somehow makes everything so⊠elegant, so glamorous, so feminine. It's like stepping into another world, one filled with dreams, and endless twirls. And that, darling, is simply priceless! And even when Iâm having an absolute nightmare (like, when you know you are going to âfallâ in a grand jetĂ©! ⊠but still, try! Itâs so, *so* much fun!), that feeling of elegance makes every bit of it worth it. *Especially* the white and pink! I mean⊠what's ballet without a touch of *femininity*, right? So, just embrace your inner ballerina, darlings! Even if that just means adding a little bit of tulle or silk to your everyday wardrobe. We all need a little more âdanceâ in our lives. And trust me, youâll *really* thank yourself for it, even if it takes more than just *one* perfect turn and twirl to achieve your desired goals!