Oh darling, gather āround, gather āround! You simply wonāt believe the tutu drama thatās unfolded today, 29th August 1997! Yes, itās a veritable tempest in a tulle storm, a whirl of feathers and fishnets ā you see, the Royal Ballet is in a bit of a flap! You know, all those fabulously posh dancers with their impressive legs and, well, impressive everything elseā¦ but they are having a *serious* meltdown over their tutus. Can you imagine?
Apparently, someone, *cough* (letās not point fingers!), dared to question the tradition of wearing, wait for it, **white** tutus! **WHITE!** This, my lovelies, is as blasphemous as saying that strawberries and cream arenāt delicious or that heels arenāt essential! Itās tantamount to a social faux pas, a faux pas with *very* expensive silk!
This daring individual, *cough*, dared to suggest that, oh, perhaps we could embrace a bit of colour, a splash of the rainbow, maybe some shimmering metallics to add a touch of pizzazz! They thought it might be *fun*, you see!
Oh honey, letās be honest, there are very few things that are *more* fun than tutus. So you can understand why the rumour spread through the hallowed halls of the Royal Opera House like wildfire! Can you even imagine? A rainbow of tutus, swirling around on the stage, oh darling, itās enough to make a little old-fashioned girl faint!
The dancers are in an absolute tizzy, my dear. Imagine them with their faces buried in their ballet shoes, clutching their little black books, *scandal* being whispered like a secret amongst their perfect bun-hair. I hear there were even some very *dramatic* *his* and *hers* hissy fits, tears *and* a couple of splintered ballet shoes ā I just hope it didnāt dampen the gloss of any toe shoes! I mean, heaven forbid, right?
Of course, darling, this being the Royal Ballet, everyone, *everyone*, was keeping mum. After all, who could dare breathe a word about this terrible tragedy to the press? What would they say! I mean, the last time they dared mention a little tulle trouble, there was a public scandal of unprecedented proportions! Oh, theyād have to shut down the entire Opera House. Good heavens! It wouldnāt be very fashionable now would it, not when everyone *knows* tutus and their colour are more than a simple fashion choice. Theyāre a lifestyle! A statement!
The news spread like a plague of pigeons, of course, even amongst us little gossipy butterflies. But fear not! Our source is *impeccable*! He told me with all the solemnity of a *real* British gentleman ā yes, an actual one! That the tutu rebellion will remain a *quiet* rebellion, confined within the hallowed halls of the Opera House.
Oh, I simply love the irony, darlings, because tutus were initially *revolutionary* in their time. Back in the Victorian era, think about it, they practically declared āthe woman shall dance!ā, like an explosion of *laissez faire*, a total revolt against *those* itchy stays and uncomfortable undergarments! Such audacious rebellion!
Now? The tutu rebellion of 1997 will be forever consigned to whispers ā a clandestine meeting of whispers within the ballet studios, *never* to escape the realm of their secret little gossipy dances. But donāt despair my little lambs, the rumour mill is spinning its finest gossip right now, I can almost hear the clacking of little feet running about like a herd of well-coordinated mice. Weāll keep our eyes peeled for any *leaks* on this *daring* rumour!
In the meantime, dear dears, itās just like an exciting game, a sort of *Who's Afraid of the Big, Bad Tutu*, only without the fear and lots more sparkle! So, we shall keep you informed ā a new style in tutus! It will happen *eventually* and Iāll be the first one to *break* the news to all my glamorous gossip girls! You can trust me, darling.