Leotards & Lace: The Tutus Are on Fire!
Darling dears, I simply couldnāt wait until the usual fortnightly gossip column to spill the tea on this delightful scandal! The world of ballet has gone completely bonkers and it's *all* thanks to those exquisite little tulle dreams, the tutus. Imagine this, dear readers, a backstage dressing room at the prestigious Royal Opera House. It's all tulle and tiaras and thenā¦ chaos erupts. Not your usual āWhereās my bun holder?ā chaos mind you.
Apparently, the resident Prima Ballerina, the gorgeous Penelope Pinprick, the queen of the pliĆ© and the swan-a-licious star of *Swan Lake*, went a bit off the rails about her tutu. I mean, who hasnāt been frustrated with the fickle nature of tulle, but *this* dear reader, this went beyond your usual ballet rage.
Penelope's precious white tutu, the one designed by a famed French couturier no less, wasn't quite up to snuff. āIt doesnāt quiteā¦ shimmer!ā, she lamented. I heard a certain *slight* whisper, perhaps something along the lines of, āItās moreā¦ matte.ā Gasp! That's when things went completely haywire. A few feathers were ruffled (and possibly even shed!), a certain pas de deux almost turned into a pas de brawl andā¦ dare I whisper, dear readerā¦ several tears were shed. (And not the graceful, pearlescent tears youād expect of a ballet queen).
Now, as one who adores a good ballet, and knows the *very* particular demands of a performance, I *can* empathise with Miss Pinprick. I mean, one wrong seam, an out of place feather, a rogue glint of sequinsā¦. Disaster! The stage lights could show it all!
But honestly, dear reader? A full-fledged tantrum? Well, *that* simply isnāt acceptable, darling.
And thatās when Miss Pinprick decided, in all her tulle-draped majesty, that the solution to this tragic dilemma wasā¦a *Pink* tutu! āItās simply too white,ā she shrieked. āAll that whiteness will dull the colours! The set is *all* reds and oranges and pinks, why on Earth must I be shrouded in boring old white! The choreography calls for *pink*, I need *pink*, I *deserve* pink! Give me a *pink* tutuā¦ Now!ā
The directorās head apparently almost fell off his shoulders. But alas, he could hardly turn down the queen of the stage. Pink tutu it was! And in a whirlwind of *what ifs* and frantic alterations, Miss Pinprick, her *new* tutu fluttering and her eyes shining, sashayed back to her stage! And the show, as it turned out, went on flawlessly! (Or as flawlessly as any show featuring a Prima Ballerina with an intense colour fixation can go!)
Oh, dear reader, it simply wouldnāt be a proper ballet story if we werenāt graced by a little scandal, a sprinkle of backstage drama, andā¦ yes, a little dash of pink tulle! So what can we learn from all of this?
A few things come to mind:
- White tutus may be elegant, but they are certainly not *always* the answer!
- You never quite know how far your prima ballerina will go for her colour scheme, do you? (Letās not mention the emerald green sequins saga of last season, dear.)
- A little pink does go a long wayā¦ especially on stage! (We simply couldn't ignore that stunning effect on Penelopeās *pas de bourrĆ©e*!)
- Letās all raise a glass to the valiant seamstresses of the ballet world! (The *true* stars, dear reader!).
As for me? I'll be at the opera house next week, a pair of my *own* little opera glasses at the ready! You canāt beat the spectacle of a *pink* tutu, can you?