Oh darling, what a day! The sun is shining, the birds are singing, and the world is just brimming with possibility! Well, maybe not the whole world. My darling brother-in-law is having his "fancy dress" birthday party tonight, and I have NO IDEA what I am going to wear! You wouldn't think this would be a dilemma, but darling you know me, my dear readers, a simple thing like fancy dress has to have an edge, it has to be *effortless* and elegant. And with all these *tutus* about, it just doesn't feel right!
My dearest sister is absolutely besotted by ballet (bless her), she literally cannot get enough. She has become completely obsessed with her own personal version of Swan Lake! (She hasn't yet managed to escape a glass slipper in the garden, nor does she appear to have any swans hanging around in her kitchen, thankfully).
Anyhoo, you know, she goes to the theatre as much as her budget and *our* time constraints will allow, and we end up seeing this or that piece of balletic excellence every now and again. Just a small matter of, say, four times a year, or *possibly* six if *she* is lucky. Just enough to fuel her own private ballet- madness! Anyway, we always go with this lovely woman who does all the costumes and I swear darling, she actually knows EVERY dancer by name. Now, darling, I do love a good performance and all the dancing is beautiful - so I know what I'm talking about, you understand - but my goodness darling, this woman could quite literally tell you what the dancers had for breakfast that morning from a single feather floating in the air. I think she *probably* even knew their shoe sizes! I'd have gone stark raving mad!
And now, you understand, this mad obsession with all things dance has crossed over into her life in a major way. She is *absolutely* going to make all the little princesses dress up like "dancing girls" (she has not been using the *B word*, yet) for her own daughter's birthday party. Which is fine, because as I said before (you know, in that rather obvious "how's-it-for-a-slogan?" tone of voice that people like myself *really* love), children have to be seen and not heard! So *of course* I shall be the one who is dressed to the nines - I'll have some sort of chic little number. You see, I am one of these very rare creatures. You know, the kind that looks effortless? Like, they *do* put effort in - the whole 'looking unstudied but well turned out', if you like. It just feels that way.
The other side to this, you see, is this lovely, really nice, and pretty good looking bloke in the corner. You know what I am talking about - it is the one we have been avoiding? A long story really - you know how these things can be in these sorts of situations! I need something *just so* if I want to turn those pale blue eyes my way. Now he is actually someone that a normal woman can talk to - I really need to give him some sort of incentive - it’s just such a rare find. And if you thought all the dancing princesses in their tutus and tiaras were a little bit too much for me to take - don't even get me started on this party! As I said - I simply *must* look amazing, but still so utterly chic!
You know I will always rise to the occasion! And of course, I shall make my fabulous debut at the *exact* moment the birthday girl’s dad gets to that point in his speeches where you just know the *awkward* *'Dad'- moments are about to start! I will walk in with that lovely man on my arm and let everyone *really* know that there is absolutely no chance he'll be missing the next big dance! But what should I wear?
- I would really, really love a very sleek and beautifully shaped little black dress with just the right touch of *that* something. I love to make an *entrance* - a little bit extra...but you get the point, *just the right* kind of extra - you know, to show the birthday boy that his party should be a bit more *like* mine! The best sort of *chic*. But I really, really need to know:
- I could go down the ballet line - you know the one where the "ladies" actually show a bit more leg, even thigh - because everyone's been doing that. It does seem like there is quite a bit of *that* on the catwalk this season, and if I’m honest darling, I am thinking about having the big reveal as my "fancy dress" to really set my dear sister straight. She really has been behaving as if I’m a little bit *less* in her little ballet world lately.
- But of course, with the tutus floating all about and every single dress, skirt, and frock seeming to have that "dancing" look to it - I’m not even going to say the B-word for fear of how mad my dear sister would go! - it simply isn't *enough*. I will, naturally, wear *the* perfect pair of high heels, but, frankly my darling, I really don’t think any of that would really suit the moment.
- So I think my dear friends, that a little "something extra" is required. It does *really* need to make everyone sit up and take notice - it is absolutely a *must-have*!
You will simply adore me darling. It will be something so totally effortless! The *must-have* of the season! And if you don’t hear from me for a while, my darling readers, then please - if you are the least bit *fancy* - remember those lovely boys, those big *baby blue* eyes... And if you do see the new outfit ... remember me, Darling. Just me and the lovely blue eyes! But oh dear me, now it’s 10pm - I just need to get back to those shops!