Oh darling, you wouldn’t believe the drama that unfolded at the Royal Ballet this week! It’s all about tutus, darling, tutus! It appears that the iconic, traditionally white, fluffy tutu is being unceremoniously replaced by a new breed of, *shudder*, **pink tutus**!
Honestly, it’s a scandal! Imagine, the swan lake, our beloved ballet of swirling white fluff, suddenly all **pink**. It’s simply not right, it’s not the look. It's an utter *faux pas* that’s making even the most discerning ballet buff gag, darling.
The entire world of ballet is aghast, honey. I mean, who even thought pink would work? It just screams "childish" or “sweet” - not exactly the elegant air we are aiming for here at the ballet, n’est pas? Where's the majestic drama, the airy romance, the absolute refinement of the **classic white**?
The reason, you ask? Apparently it’s about “changing with the times.” Bosh! How terribly uncouth! If the **ballet masters** need a change, why not try a bit of sequins, a dramatic sash, even a bit more embroidery? Is there no respect for tradition at the ballet?
Our own little prima ballerina darling, a veritable porcelain doll, even went as far as declaring her disapproval - refusing to perform with a pink tutu. “It’s a disgrace,” she confided in her closest confidante, “pink? It just makes my leotard look cheap, honey. It's all wrong!"
She, darling, even sent a telegram to the artistic director - oh, it’s all very Shakespearean, wouldn't you agree? The director's response, rather curt darling, "If she wishes to refuse, then perhaps she would be better suited to a role with less leg.”
And as for our other ballerinas? They've simply turned into rebellious little **pink fluff bombs**, darling, refusing to dance, protesting in the studio with "Pink is not right" banners, even writing their grievances to the newspapers in elegant calligraphy. It’s an utter farce, really.
Our very own Queen of Fashion, the *magnifique* Stella McCartney, hasn't helped the situation one bit darling. Her own version of a **ballet tutu** in shockingly bright pink and silver has been sending a shock wave across the industry - it's so vulgar darling! And guess what? They actually bought it! This madness is only going to escalate from here, honey.
As the rest of the ballet world shrieks with horror, I think it's time to reflect on what our love of ballet truly means: grace, poise, perfection. The swan lake needs it’s white plumage and **that** iconic leotard needs that perfect balance of sophistication and simple elegance, a classic look of a ballerina, a **swan, pure, white**!
So until this ridiculous **pink** phase is over, I shall stick with my classical ballet DVDs - you know, with all those stunningly **white tutus** - and hope our dancers, and their tutus, will see reason and revert to those pristine white creations.