Oh, the indignity of it all! You know how it is, darlings, you’re getting ready for a night out, you've painstakingly prepped your perfect, smoky eye and plumped up your pout for a bit of glamorous dinner and a glass or two of something sparkly… then BAM! – someone whips out the dreaded 'L-word'.
No, I’m not talking about the unspeakable 'Love' here, we’re talking 'Leotard', darling. Because for many of us, the simple mention of a leotard and the word 'ballet' instantly conjures up those very visions, of youthful aspirations, of our dancing days – but unfortunately for most of us, visions of the dancing days tend to end right before we’re catapulted right back into the world of our adult selves, who generally feel too embarrassed to actually do the splits in public – even if we did practice those pliés diligently as teenagers, years and years ago, when tutus and tiaras still held their place as some sort of fantasy kingdom…
Yet, just as quickly as you banish these visions, they rise up again like ghosts!
Well, if I am to be completely honest with you dear readers, I’ve had this dream – a really big dream… a very 'L' (Leotard) kind of dream for some time… I’ve been craving some very girly and slightly decadent fun for my own life and a sort of self indulgent, retro-chic dance class seems just the ticket. In fact, I’ve had a recurring, slightly-smutty, (let's call it a “dance-off-with-Hugh-Grant”, kind of a dream) to the tune of, "It's a beautiful day. Let's dance!" – it's just the sort of whimsical wish list to which we girls secretly (and probably sometimes outwardly, too) aspire!
This 'dance-off-with-Hugh-Grant' type dream is, in itself, no strange revelation – but here’s the slightly bonkers twist – I want to get to wear a pink, tutu. Now you may think this request a bit bonkers but surely, if any of you ladies have a slight soft spot for tutus, it’s probably because you've always found them irresistible! And pink… is so wonderfully delicious and pretty and frilly. (And quite honestly – a bit of a mood-boosting necessity – in a society obsessed with drab and muted shades)!
Anyway, I don't just want to be rocking the pink, girly-girl, tutu (even if this 'want’ is probably a teeny bit selfish and, perhaps even slightly bonkers. A *LOT* bonkers really) - because a mere pink, tutu is not quite enough. You know me too well, ladies! No, my dance dream must include the sort of 'Pink Tutu Dream-Sequence' which takes me back to some of the ballet’s iconic pieces of work. I have an insatiable hankering for the ballet classics; you know – Swan Lake (because what woman wouldn’t want a dream of graceful, flowing elegance? Well... let’s just pretend no woman on this earth would find it less appealing than swan feathers!) and Coppelia, in particular – well, as the "sweetly delicate" "lifelike doll", I just knew I was destined for fame… at least at the "Dance off With Hugh Grant" – ballet classes in my imagination! (I can even see myself, as Coppelia now – wearing those white, satin, shoes and I know – I’m not alone in my infatuation!)
Well, alas! I seem to be having a "reality check moment", (because dreams, darling, unfortunately fade and fade fast - into just another "L' – (Leotard) inspired" daydream. The reality, darling, is this: if we’re serious about ballet classes (and we are) then my current reality would necessitate a wardrobe overhaul; the ballet shops just around the corner are stocked up with what feels like, miles and miles of shiny pink tutus in all sorts of fabrics, ready to fulfill my dream.
Then, comes the question of a place to buy ballet shoes! Do you go for 'Samba' (the dancing shoe company?) because it’s just so wonderfully iconic. Do you get your dancing shoes from 'Bloch' for the perfect balance between glamour and functionality (because they look like they could make you soar on those dancing shoes) - or does one just get plain comfy, canvas shoes (which might just put you right off ballet in the first place.)
I also have to admit… I'm worried about how this will make me look. In real life. In front of real people. I fear being deemed ‘overly theatrical’. And I have this feeling people are going to look at me strangely. And frankly, that thought is already turning my dreams into something akin to a nightmare. But the reality of it all – this dream ballet wardrobe (tutu’s, shoes and leotards included) – are really quite impossible for anyone on this earth to resist! Even the most resolute person would simply melt into a puddle of “Oh, but, I simply have to have it” at this level of girly gorgeousness…
To start our Ballet Journey… We shall require :
- Leotards.
- Ballet Shoes. (As mentioned, canvas or more delicate - perhaps 'Bloch'? And - if you’re going all out - you have to get that 'Coppelia' white, satin pair.)
- The Perfect Pink Tutu – or at least – if not, then, a white Tutu. Because really, who doesn't love white? It's classic, elegant, and pure and pretty much a sartorial necessity for all women of the world (ahem! Don't be afraid of pink, but, white - is also wonderfully graceful and ethereal!)
- Hair Ribbons (that's another thing about ballerinas – they're always sporting hair ribbons or hair nets – both really fabulous to be honest - but you could wear that at the local shop too… don’t forget your hair spray - and your hair brush!)
- A Ballerina Outfit for when you go shopping! It might make buying those ballet shoes, tutus and leotards even more enjoyable.
Now, if only I can be as brave and determined to fulfill my dream as those iconic ballet ballerinas - those ‘swan ladies' (with or without feathers, that's your prerogative, girls.) – I might just be on my way - in a little pink, white tutu to ballet fame – even at the age of 30 (a mere hop, skip and a jump away from thirty – two…)