Dearest darlings,
It's your fabulous, fashion-forward friend, here, and today, my lovelies, we're delving into a world thatâs equal parts twirling and terrifying â the glorious and sometimes rather ghastly realm of ballet!
Now, I know what you're thinking: "Ballet? Isn't that for little girls in fluffy pink tutus? Doesn't it all smell a bit of mothballs and old cobwebs?" Well, darling, buckle up, because you're in for a wild ride! Itâs more fun than a glitter bomb in a tutu factory.
Letâs kick off this tĂȘte-Ă -tĂȘte with the most iconic of ballet wear: the tutu. Now, darling, itâs time to shed any pre-conceived notions about tutus being solely the preserve of those adorable little cherubs. These aren't your average cupcake-coloured cotton creations. We're talking tutus with more tulle than a French wedding! And trust me, dear reader, you wouldnât want to catch me on the wrong side of one. Itâs enough to bring a ballerina to her knees⊠literally!
Oh, and let's not forget those classic white tutus! Oh, the symbolism! Oh, the⊠well, letâs just say, darling, that one is a whole other bag of (swan) feathers. They say that the white tulle was originally used to represent the colour of swanâs feathers. And swan feathers, Iâm told, are pure white, a colour known for its delicate fragility and, perhaps a touch of mystique. (The same is said for ballerina buns, come to think of it!)
Now, tutus arenât the only garment that has a rather extraordinary history. Oh darling, don't even get me started on leotards! A tiny bit of spandex, they say. A lot of athleticism. Let's just say, darlings, those leotards should come with a health warning! As far as the history goes, letâs just say leotards started life in the circus before getting their big break in the world of ballet. So much like your darling columnist, they can take a bit of a fall before bouncing right back to a standing ovation!
But, dear darlings, what's ballet without its own unique vocabulary? Now, I'm not talking about the 'plies, the 'chassĂ© and the 'jetĂ© that will send your toes into the stratosphere. I'm talking about the *real* lingo - the stuff they teach you backstage. The whispers and rumours that run through those dance halls, you know. Hereâs just a small tasteâŠ
- **âThereâs no point trying to learn choreography while youâre getting changed, because the second you do, itâs the only time they change the sequence. Just one more change, darling!â
- **âPlease make sure the mirror is fully steam free after your pirouette. You really wouldnât believe the panic that sets in. The backstage is dark, and for every perfectly placed âtwirlâ, thereâs a clumsy fall on a poorly lit floor and one slightly squashed ballerina â or perhaps just a crushed bouquet!â
- **âMake sure you warm-up before you warm up, sweetie! And I'm not talking about warming up your voice; we're talking about preparing your body.â
And finally, darlings, we simply cannot have a true insight into the ballet without touching upon those wonderful, wild ballet boys. Oh, my darlings, those graceful gentlemen who somehow manage to combine a touch of danger and athleticism into the perfect dance!
What a beautiful spectacle they are! So refined. So powerful! So full of joie de vivre! And who wouldnât feel their pulse race, as they glide around that stage in perfect synchronicity, all perfectly coiffed with those neatly braided ballet buns that make even a *serious* ponytail seem casual!
So there you have it, darling â your dose of ballet! A bit of fluff and frills. A few sequins, a splash of sweat and all those lovely legs in beautiful tights. The joy. The beauty! Now excuse me darling, but I have a performance to prepare for â and it's the only kind of performance youâre likely to see this writer starring inâŠ
Have a lovely day darlings. Until next time.