Darling, gather ’round, let’s have a little gossip about the world of ballet, shall we? This week, our spotlight shines on something positively divine: tutus!
We've all heard the jokes about tutus - those impossibly puffy, ballerina-only garments that somehow manage to be both impractical and glamorous at the same time. Well, honey, this week, tutus have become the subject of much *controversy* in the hallowed halls of the Royal Ballet. Oh, darling, it's practically Shakespearean!
It all began with a very simple, rather mundane memo. Apparently, the powers-that-be in the world of British ballet decided that our dancers needed *more* protection. So, what do they do? They decide that all our ballerinas must don extra-fluffy under-tutus to cushion their landings. *Cue the gasps!*
You see, darling, the problem with ballet isn't *landing*, it’s *looking good landing*. And fluffy under-tutus are, shall we say, not quite in keeping with the aesthetic our ballerinas are striving for. Imagine it: the graceful rise, the silken descent, only to have the whole thing muffled by a mountain of tulle!
As a dear friend of mine (who happens to be a principal dancer at the Royal Opera House) confided, “I understand wanting us to be safe, darling. But I feel like I'm wearing a feather boa. It's not *prima ballerina*, is it?”
Darling, naturally, I agreed! It’s all very well and good to be cushioned, but imagine the looks! One ballerina has been heard to compare herself to a giant meringue, darling!
But what really adds to the drama of it all is that nobody can seem to agree on what is the right fluffy under-tutu for every type of ballet. For example, you can't put a fluffy under-tutu in a Giselle without ruining the delicacy of the costume! And a *fluffy* under-tutu under a *Swan Lake* tutu simply would not *look* right. The whole thing feels utterly barbaric. The audacity, darling!
Now, there have been some… shall we call them ‘pro-fluffy’ individuals. The Ballet’s new safety officer, an adorable but slightly unstylish gentleman named Trevor, argues that dancers can’t just “dance their way” out of danger and the fluff provides *that* vital extra layer. Trevor has made sure his point is clear, darling. He’s even said in a press interview (after 3 champagnes at lunch, dear, one can’t really blame him) that "we should prioritize safety over aesthetics"! He even insisted, with much gusto, that “this is simply *evolutionary*”. He’s a bit of a character, isn't he?
But, darling, are the under-tutus going to help us create the graceful, ephemeral vision we love so much in the art form of ballet? And besides, will these new under-tutus, dare I say, flatten the figure? After all, darling, one’s figure is, of course, a vital element of *any* ballet performance, especially our most cherished productions.
I, for one, hope that our beloved ballerinas are spared the fate of being smothered by extra fluffy tulle, for the sake of the art!
Oh, and just as an aside, I saw some wonderful new tutus at a little shop in Mayfair the other day. So I *did* indulge. They are *simply* to die for.
So, what do you think? Will these fluffy under-tutus be a trend, or is it time to tell our safety officers to stop, drop, and roll?Let me know your thoughts. Let's keep those tutus beautiful!