Oh darling, what a delightful day it is, 29th of January 2007! The sun is shining, the birds are singing, and...oh, my goodness, what's this?! A swarm of little pink-clad ballerinas have taken over Piccadilly Circus! It seems, darling, that our darling ballerinas are on strike, and frankly, I don't blame them! These exquisite little creatures, in their darling pink tutus (and some, oh, the shock!, in *white* tutus!), are demanding a better deal from the ballet world.
You see, dear readers, the ballet world, much like fashion, has a rather tricky problem with *sizing*. The tiny little darling ballerinas have had to endure a very strict and, quite frankly, rather ridiculous "ideal size" for their tutus, with the ones who didn't quite fit the *norm*, darling, well, they had to, well, you know...get bigger. Horrid. Honestly, the things those poor dears have been subjected to.
But let us get back to our little pink rebels. They are holding nothing back! One young ballerina, barely older than 12, declared, "I’m not just a 'ballerina size.' I’m a growing girl with an appetite, a penchant for scones (the strawberry jam, naturally), and dreams of pirouetting into a grand jeté with a magnificent pink tutu that, well, doesn't try to *suffocate* me."
And my goodness, wasn’t that the most adorable thing ever?! Imagine! Scones and pirouettes?! Simply divine. I dare say, a perfectly delightful image. So, the darling dancers are not only demanding a more, dare I say, “liberal” range of tutu sizes, but they're demanding something that should have been there from the very start: snacks!
One can’t possibly perform *Swan Lake*, or even a dainty ballet in one’s tights and leotard for that matter, without a bit of a pick-me-up. We're talking about a whole afternoon's worth of twirling and leaping! These little darling girls need their energy, and quite frankly, I don’t blame them for refusing to put on pointe until they have their chocolate and biscuit fix. Honestly, I’d be having a tantrum if I were them. You try spending an afternoon en pointe without a few sweets! It’s nearly impossible.
The dancers have set up their protest in the middle of Piccadilly Circus, demanding an audience with none other than the darling Duchess of Cambridge, as she is the official patroness of the ballet. Oh, don’t be jealous! We all know it’s an excellent position, even if it does mean enduring countless performances of *Swan Lake*. I’d rather listen to my *perfectly* pruned, adorable little Pekinese yap than watch that whole dance in a single evening, frankly.
The demands? Simple really: tutus in a whole range of delightful sizes for ballerinas of all shapes and sizes (from a tiny 00 to, well, maybe an 8 if that is possible). A delicious variety of sweet snacks backstage and during the intervals (more sweets, darling!), and perhaps a bit more contemporary music for those of them that aren't just obsessed with Swan Lake. You'd think they'd tire of it. But no! The fascination continues. But who am I to judge? Honestly! It would be a bit of a nightmare if they moved onto modern dances. A true nightmare!
The darling ballerinas are also petitioning for the abolishment of the old-fashioned, utterly absurd practice of “pointe shoe sizing”. As we all know, shoe size is not a very helpful tool when choosing a point shoe, not even close! They say that you can be a perfect size 4 but wear a size 7 pointe shoe, and conversely, a size 5 in a normal shoe may require a 3.5 in pointe shoes! Why the need for such confusion? It’s an absolute farce. I, for one, say, let's toss it all out! Forget sizes, and find a more "flexible" and logical way to get the perfect fitting point shoes for everyone.
So, darling, as I type, our sweet ballerinas are in the heart of Piccadilly Circus, surrounded by a whirlwind of tutus in the most delectable pink and white hues, their little noses to the air as they refuse to *pointe* until their demands are met! It’s utterly enchanting to watch. Such little rebels. And how very elegant are their little posters?! The typography, oh, darling, I am simply in love! We'll just have to wait and see if the Duchess takes pity on our sweet ballerinas. Or if our little ballet divas will remain in a dance of rebellion, striking on pointe shoes while craving their sugar fix.
In the meantime, I’ve popped to Harrods to stock up on scones (they make the best strawberry jam), for I believe a ballet of our own is in order! I must put my little white tulle ballet shoes back on and dance in my most delightful little *tutu* in celebration. Or, as our little ballerinas might put it: let’s just get those scones in us before a good, long pirouette. Because it’s a beautiful day for rebellion. But make sure that, if you’re at Harrods, darling, you make a dash to the bakery, grab those gorgeous strawberry jam scones, and *do* share with a ballet-loving friend. And then pop back and tell me all about it! After all, darling, it’s just good, old-fashioned etiquette!
Now, let's move onto the fashion headlines, darling. Oh, what wonderful news I have!