Oh, the Horror! The Horror! Ballet Under Siege!
Dear Diary,
Iām not usually one for alarmist pronouncements, but frankly darling, itās high time we all woke up and smelled theā¦well, letās just say we should definitely *not* smell the perspiration wafting off those sweaty, poorly-ventilated, tiny tutus.
My darlings, the very foundation of ballet is under threat, and itās coming fromā¦drum roll pleaseā¦the ballet dancers themselves! Itās a shocking indictment of the youth of today, all obsessed with social media, reality shows, and what colour of tutu is going to net them the most ālikesā. (Speaking of colour, pink or white? Itās a *never ending* debate amongst us seasoned dancers!)
Just yesterday I went to see a performance of āSwan Lakeā ā an utter travesty. The Black Swan, whose dramatic flair is usually what makes us weep and clutch our pearls, appeared in a ghastly purple leotard, with black tulle over it, the nerve of the thing! Was this a swan? A giant grape? Honestly, darlings, I almost fainted! Thankfully, a charming man beside me, clearly as horrified as I was, saved the situation by proffering his smelling salts. Thank heavens, the sweet aroma of lavender brought me back from the brink, and I was able toā¦ahemā¦fully appreciate the production, as you willā¦*never* catch me leaving a ballet early.
Whatās more, my dears, this ānew waveā of dancers, their attitudes! Itās practically criminal! They dare to tell us that they no longer need pointe shoes? Oh, theyāre āuncomfortableā you say? Well, sweetheart, *ballet is about discomfort*. Itās about pushing yourself, making a sacrifice for your art, a true *commitment* to the performance. And Iām not talking about committing a fashion faux pas!
Instead of this *rebellion*, these āartistic visionsā as they call it, they should be putting on their pink (or white) tutus, getting their hair perfectly swept up in a ballerina bun, and doing a perfect, classical turn, en pointe. If they're not willing to do that, they donāt belong in the world of ballet, they should take upā¦ I donāt know, ballroom dancing, perhaps! The idea of all those ballroom dancing outfits makes me shudder, to be honest.
Itās High Time For Change ā Start with a Proper Tutu!
But fear not, my dear friends! Itās not all doom and gloom. We *can* reclaim ballet for what it is: a beautiful, refined art form that exudes elegance, precision, and beauty. We need to nip this bad trend in the bud, now. But where to start? It all comes down to, you guessed it, *the tutu*!
- **Return to Classic Pink**: For a timeless look that will *never* go out of style, a classic pink tutu is essential. Just the right shade of pink - it evokes a romantic spirit and reminds everyone what ballet is all about: the graceful flitting of swans and the stories they tell.
- **White, If You Must**: White tutus can also be effective, though there is a *much* higher chance of a misstep with this option. If youāre going with white, youāve got to be *completely* in control. The slightest smudge and your delicate image is ruined. Think pristine, darling! Think swans on a freshly-fallen snowy morning!
- **And Ditch Those Ghastly Tulle Combinations**: We know your mother warned you: āNo dancing in black tulle!ā. Black just doesnāt work. Remember dear, weāre telling a story of beauty, of flight, of passion - not some brooding goth fairytale.
- **Pointe Shoes? Non-Negotiable**: No, dear. This isn't an option for discussion. Your pointe shoes should be a *highlight* in your outfit! If theyāre feeling a bit *too* comfy, try stretching the laces. This can help make them even more *authentic* - and who can argue with authenticity in the world of ballet?
- **Back to the Bun!**: This should not even need mentioning. No stray locks, dear. Absolutely not!
- **Itās About Dedication**: Weāre in the age of self-promotion, and weāre so busy with ourselves that weāre forgetting why ballet even exists. Dedication to art is what makes a true ballerina. And commitment, darlings. Commit to looking good, to upholding the image of our art form, and youāll be rewarded. You may even get a smile from someone sitting beside you!
In closing, darlings, I canāt emphasize this enough: weāre custodians of a beautiful legacy. If we allow these new fangled trends, all those frilly black tutus and questionable leotards, we risk losing the grace and majesty of our beloved art form. I can't even begin to describe the devastation that would wreak on the entire world of ballet. But just as we gracefully pirouette and soar through the air, we can reclaim ballet as it *should* be. Remember, ladies, pink (or white) tutus and a dedicated attitude, and a perfect, classical turnā¦ it's all we need.