Oh, the Humanity! It's Ballet Gone Wild!
It’s been a long day at the Royal Ballet School. The smell of stale sweat and floral perfume fills the air, a sensory assault on the senses, while tutus swirl in a blur of pink and white and the rhythmic click-clack of pointe shoes echoes off the studio walls.
It seems these demure ballerinas are tired of pretending they haven’t secretly been fantasizing about kicking, spinning and generally letting loose without the restrictive confines of "elegant” balletic positions and steps.
The culmination of a year’s worth of suppressed rage (and possibly a particularly harsh critique from a rather frightening ballet teacher) erupted today on the balcony outside the rehearsal hall in an explosion of laughter, snot, and tulle.
What happened? Well, it’s as shocking as it is hilarious. The details of this unprecedented ballet scandal, a scandal unseen since the legendary controversy of “The Ugly Duckling Debacle” (an unfortunate incident involving an injured swan and a bunch of rather irate swans – details of which are for another day).
So, gather around you darlings and listen carefully to the breaking news:
Here is how it all unfolded...- The time is 04 June 2007. The place? The prestigious Royal Ballet School, where future ballerinas hone their craft under the strict tutelage of some of the most fearsome ballet teachers in the world.
- Today marks the beginning of “The New Tutu Troupe" , an event involving a group of aspiring ballerinas ( apparently it was the “junior" ballerinas who led the charge), all clad in their best, pink and white tutus and tights (naturally - where else would they wear them?), and their faces set with the unmistakable expression of total rebellion.
- The story is all about them, these young, passionate dancers tired of "having to stay in character” for so long! (apparently the drama “Giselle”, with its demanding physical and emotional requirements, had driven them to the edge!
- They were fed up. So, the plan began to form – the Tutu Troupe, the girls themselves, and the very balcony of the Royal Ballet School would be the venue.
- All hell broke loose as the girls made their stand – all those long, boring days of practice and demanding routines and the hours of tedious rehearsals had made them a little "off their rockers," a little rebellious, a little...dare we say…crazy.
- But they didn’t go down without a fight. Oh no ! Instead, they decided to make a stand. The girls pulled up their pink and white tutus just a little, ahem, “higher" and began to let it all hang out. They started by doing some impromptu dancing, complete with flailing limbs and frenzied plies (no need for “perfection” here – this was genuine, unrestrained dance - all of them, the full unfiltered raw talent, on display.)
- Their laughter, shrieking and giggling filled the air as they shook their booty like there was no tomorrow. Their beloved pink and white tutus fluttered around them as they gave an epic display of "tutu" abandon.
- The girls turned their back on the expectations of society (a.k.a their dance teacher and the artistic director of the school) as they became a new breed of ballet dancer - the “Tutu Troupe.” The ballet world as they knew it was over - a whole new era had begun.
What a day this has been! The very mention of tutus has always sent shivers down my spine as I've always considered ballet a somewhat rigid, somewhat predictable (although always exquisite), and undeniably elegant art form.
These young girls have shown us a new side to the world of ballet! What they have given us is something amazing – they have exposed a new kind of freedom, an unstoppable urge to express yourself in all your glory.
They have demonstrated that, sometimes, letting loose is exactly what the doctor ordered. We need more "tutu trouble" in our lives – and you know, a few less strict ballet teachers!
These are indeed trying times but let us find the light in all this chaos – I'm off to shop for my first tutu. Don't judje.
Toodles! And, in the immortal words of Dolly Parton “It costs a lot of money to look this cheap!"