It's November 5th, 2007, darlings, and what better day to talk about the glorious, graceful, and, dare I say, slightly ridiculous world of ballet than on Bonfire Night! Forget fireworks, let's talk tutus! And leotards! (Goodness, that rhyme was a bit too convenient, wasn't it? But we all love a little whimsy, don't we?)
As a self-proclaimed aficionado of all things twirling and tutu-fied, I've always been fascinated by the duality of ballet. It's the epitome of elegant, controlled movement, yet somehow, it manages to be both incredibly sophisticated and endearingly goofy. Those delicate pointe shoes, perched precariously on the tips of toes, always make me giggle – imagine trying to balance on those things while attempting a grand jeté!
And the tutus, oh, the tutus! Let's face it, they are the stars of the show. A cloud of tulle, a whimsical swirl of pink or white, a beacon of airy elegance. Who wouldn't want to twirl in one? But let's be honest, those things are basically impractical! Just imagine trying to get on the Tube with one – it'd be a fight for survival in rush hour. And those tiny leotards? You can practically hear them saying, “Excuse me, dear, but I'm feeling a bit exposed." Maybe that's part of their charm!
Why I love (and sometimes, a little laugh at) ballet:- It's the most theatrical sport. We've all got those friends who tell you how many miles they run, right? Ballet dancers have a way of making running 20 miles look like child's play. Just try a pirouette sometime - those look way more complicated and artistic than sprinting around the park.
- The costumes! I love the romance of it all! Imagine telling people you’re heading off to "an exciting, elegant and possibly glamorous affair in the theatre! " They won't believe you at first, they'll look puzzled! Then when you tell them you're going to a ballet you'll be the centre of the "fashionable set!" I've seen some wonderful, almost magical, costumes at the ballet. They have that extra air of 'this is special and delicate' about them. That feeling makes everything about the experience more enchanting. Don't you think?
- The stories! There are some epic ballet stories to be had, like Swan Lake! It's got a bit of everything - romance, tragedy, betrayal and more than a touch of magical enchantment, just in case we forget to buy our pixie dust from a department store.
- Those legendary roles! Imagine being the ultimate prima ballerina. The stage is set, you are wearing that perfect costume. There are hundreds of expectant eyes waiting, wanting to be captivated. This has to be the stuff of dreams! But, in my view, there is some real drama involved in ballet as it's not a spectator sport at all. If it wasn’t for the performance - those stunningly captivating performances, where is the appeal? The actors are real-life celebrities that perform these iconic stories of love, jealousy and all sorts of fabulous drama, they're incredible, and we can't forget, they don’t speak in their usual voices, so there is a sort of anonymity, like in an online forum. Or maybe that's just my theatrical fantasy kicking in.
Now, I'm not saying that ballet is all laughs, especially for the dancers, who put in countless hours of rigorous training and dedication, not to mention the occasional sore toe. But let's face it, sometimes those dramatic, sweeping moves look, well, a little comical, like watching a well-meaning toddler attempt a three-step sequence, only it's much more sophisticated, elegant and refined.
As you sit and enjoy the enchanting stories being performed in front of you in a glittering theatre, you know this is about more than just a few leaps, jumps, twirls, and flourishes - this is a love story of hard work and perseverance.
And just remember: next time you're tempted to say "I could never do that", think again! Just grab a tutu (the bigger the better for the added visual flair, especially in an emergency situation!) and some bright-pink lipstick, practice your pliés and your grand jetés in front of the mirror, and who knows? Maybe you'll even find yourself twirling into the magical world of ballet. But for heaven's sake, ladies, choose your occasion for this! We want to ensure you have a stage that lives up to this exciting activity. I can't imagine your little dog’s birthday being the most fitting choice, don't you agree?
Just don’t expect to master the double pirouette overnight. Unless you have been practicing and training and you happen to be the next Darcey Bussell! I’d go for some more comfortable and relaxing training first. Start slow, find your inner ballerina, embrace your graceful side and, well, why not just do the darn thing. No more "could-a-would-a-should-a." Do it! And when you master those ballet moves, I'll be here waiting with a tutu, and a cheeky bottle of champagne, for a toast to all things ballet-inspired. After all, darling, who wouldn't want a bit of twirling in their life?