Darlings! I'm just back from the most fabulous opening night of *The Nutcracker* at the Royal Opera House. It was a total dream. I was seated in the royal box, of course. Oh darling, Prince Edward, the cutest one (I'm so not a royalist, but this man is truly divine, especially with those grey streaks), was just one box over from me! Oh, to be able to wiggle my toes at him under the table... but I digress. Back to the performance.
As I said, it was dreamy, just dreamy! But, of course, like every ballet, it wouldn't have been complete without the essential ballet wear, those exquisite tutus!
Speaking of which...I am appalled to discover that the fashion gods of the ballet world have abandoned us. It seems the modern dance trend of less-is-more is making its way onto the ballet stage. There was practically a revolution at the ROH after a mere three of our esteemed dancers opted to perform in 'minimalist' tutus!
A Short History Lesson
Firstly, let us pause for a moment and understand the significance of the tutu.
- This frothy confection, my darling, is not merely a garment - it is an expression of everything we find divine: the graceful curves of the ballerina, the whimsy of the fairy tale, and of course, the beautiful fabric.
- The origins of the tutu can be traced back to Marie Taglioni, that iconic queen of classical ballet. Now, Marie, bless her heart, was the first to wear the tutu, an amazing thing that essentially exposed her legs for the first time on stage - groundbreaking!
- It allowed the beautiful dance moves of the ballerinas, a thing to behold! We are speaking pure visual bliss here.
Minimalism is NOT Glam
I can hear the younger generation muttering, "But, but, a new look? Evolution? Diversity!" My sweet dears, the sheer artistry of the tutu does not require a complete makeover. Just think, all those glorious layers of tulle, flowing, rippling and floating... oh, the sheer artistry, and drama!
What, might I ask, is a minimalist tutu?! The mere thought! A flimsy little scrap, exposing bare arms and legs... it is frankly, an offense to the aesthetic eye and an affront to history!
And the Tutus?!
Speaking of offences, I was utterly horrified to find one ballerina was wearing a tutu made of... *wait for it*... **black cotton!**
Black! Dear heavens! This wasn't a punk-rock club! It was *The Nutcracker*. My inner fashionista screamed! The shock was almost too much! It certainly threw a whole new angle on the Sugar Plum Fairy. The sugar plum she looked like a dark witch in those black bits! This wasn't magic - it was bad taste! And it was certainly not what you would call haute couture! I know we all have to keep up with trends darling, but minimalism simply does not belong on a ballet stage, let alone *The Nutcracker*.
I did have a moment of relief, darling, when my neighbour leaned over and exclaimed, "Can you believe that? I can actually see the dancer's *legs!* How gauche!" And with that, she took another sip of her champagne, looking just as shocked and indignant as I felt.
Don't get me wrong, darling. I am all for innovation, a bit of creativity. But in my mind, the tutu needs a dramatic, flowing and glorious expression. Black, cotton... the bare limbs... these do not scream *dance*; they shriek, 'I need more fabric!' And, for heaven's sake, where are the sequins, feathers, and sparkle?? It just isn't as fabulous. What a tragedy.
Well, my dears, as long as the audience are still clamoring to watch *The Nutcracker*, those little fairies can try to modernize it all they want... But don't forget that nothing says *ballet* like the graceful sweep of a voluminous, fabulous, utterly exquisite tutu. And please, don't dare touch the classic *white*.