Oh darling, itâs all going off in the world of ballet, and you know I'm right there, glued to the barre, bringing you the latest fashion-forward moves! Well, it's 24th November 1997 and it's the day the fashion world's been waiting for - **the new tutus**! Thatâs right, the big names have stepped out in force at the London Ballet Academy and my oh my, the *haute couture* designs are a-flutter! It was almost a fashion *faux pas* when the first ballerina hit the stage, sporting a **tutu that seemed to have a life of its own**, fluttering like a disco ball in a tornado! Now Iâm all for a **little bit of "whimsical"**, darlings, but this, well it was quite the show, and not one I would have dared wear to Ascot! And the whispers, my dears! A symphony of "oh dear", "fancy that" and "well I never" could be heard all over the academy.
The whispers werenât all criticism, however. Itâs been a real breath of fresh air to see a change on the tutu scene! Theyâve actually done away with the traditional pink! I know, shocking, isnât it? But hold onto your tights, darlings, because we're not just talking pastels anymore. From shimmering blacks and rich emerald greens, to the most beautiful silver, it's like weâve been transported back to a decadent ballroom, where we twirl and spin in a cloud of celestial chic! Well, thatâs until a** tutu seemingly fashioned from a sack of carrots** sashayed out onto the stage - there was a **riot of giggling in the front row** , that's for sure! Apparently, this design was supposed to signify an "Earth-bound" aesthetic for a particular contemporary routine - *bless*. One word, my dear - "orange".
The **London Ballet Academyâs head designer, a darling fellow called Geoffrey*, did say he wanted to push the boundaries, and this definitely took âpushingâ to the next level! We had tutus that looked like they belonged in a disco in the 70s (which is perfectly fine in itself, darlings - just not on stage), and even some which were fashioned from actual flowers. One ballet dancerâs tutu seemed *attached* to the dancer with a pair of actual garden clippers. *A tad alarming, donât you think*!? Even the ever-so-elegant and normally "calm-and-collected" Professor Beaumont (we canât speak too highly enough of his classic creations) could be heard *mutually*, "but GeoffreyâŚ*â. Geoffrey, a **rather flamboyant** (some might even say outrageous) fellow, retorted, "Itâs *bold*, professor! Itâs *cutting-edge*. A *celebration of the natural world*!* Now Iâve heard everything.
Speaking of âcelebratingâ, my dear, itâs not all been *completely* outrageous. Some have been incredibly striking. I saw some *amazing* colours! I donât know how they achieve that shimmer - it's almost ethereal. I was lucky enough to be seated beside one of the grandest names in London fashion, who remarked that â *it's just a touch too *boudoir**, my dearâ as one of the dancers swirled. And when I say she twirledâŚoh honey, Iâve seen more stationary objects move faster. Just the slightest **sway** and the fabric flowed. Now this, darlings, was the real deal.
However, amidst all this fabulous and sometimes utterly â*bonkers*" fashion (one, actually two, of the ballerinaâs skirts seemed to *burst* with ribbons of sparkles in mid-routine - and **letâs not mention the sequins**, darling - we almost lost our sight). Itâs the tutus we can truly see on every ballerina - yes darling, **the new standard-issue tutus** - which really **wowed** the crowds! The academy has designed some truly innovative looks with this range, so *even you, darling*, can make that swan lake leap from **basic* to *ballerina*! Imagine a white, *pleated to perfection* tulle skirt **encrusted with exquisite rhinestones** - oh the *flash*, darlings! A real *diva moment* if you ask me. The sheer beauty, coupled with the classic shape, was, *quelle surprise*, a real crowd-pleaser. The academy has even produced a set of instructions for home-makers ( I was even gifted a pack, along with my free gift - a pack of *designer tutus*, my dear), which comes with tips on â *perfectly encasing a dancer in Tutu glory* â! Itâs so **delightfully chic** - I may just take up ballet again for this reason alone. But let's be real darlings, we already have our own âtutusâ - our evening gowns, our frocks, our favourite dresses, they're all waiting to be *twirled in the spotlight!* So why not get out there and dance your own show. Now Iâll get to the shop - the queueâs already winding round the corner for those **designersâ tutus**âŚ