Oh darling, you simply wouldn't believe the drama unfolding in the world of ballet! It's a real catfight, I tell you! 21st March 2008, mark it in your little diaries. This is the day everything changed, the day tutus were thrust into the spotlight (and I don't just mean the usual spotlight during a performance, darlings, no, I mean the **real** spotlight, you know the one, with the paparrazzi snapping away, all flashing lights and screaming "Prettiest! Tutus!"). You see, darling, there’s been a whispered feud, an unspoken rivalry between the two grande dames of the ballet world: **Pink and White tutus**! Can you believe it? The most iconic colours in all of ballet, vying for attention. Scandalous!
Well, apparently it all started back in 2003 when a cheeky little reporter, darling (he reminds me of the boy at the bakery with the mischievous twinkle in his eyes and an alarming obsession with croissants) - he dared to compare pink tutus to 'cotton candy' - horrors! He said that white tutus are timeless and classic, whereas pink is, and I quote: 'juvenile, too sugary-sweet'. How dare he?! It seems to have set something off in the world of ballet - like a chain reaction! The dance critics started comparing tutus - not on their aesthetics or how well they moved with the dancer (a true, refined balletic gentleman wouldn't discuss such base subjects - how gauche!) - no, darling, they started focusing on the *colour*. The pink tutu contingent was furious! The ballet world is, by nature, a little tempestuous and the pink tutu brigade didn’t shy away from throwing their pink pom-poms in anger. The world stood aghast (well, maybe just the world of dance - those dear things get their knickers in a twist over the smallest things. Have you seen the way they react if you forget to give them an extra helping of choreographed 'turn' at the curtain call, darling! Such drama!).
So, in comes 2008. That sneaky, croissant-obsessed little reporter from the bakery wrote another article and this time, it really sparked the fire, dearie. He published this 'ranking' system based purely on colour.
Now hold on tight darlings because I'm going to break down the reporter's scandalous ranking for you, step by step- **Pink Tutu - 'Just plain embarrassing' - and he said this was 'generous' oh! The shock and horror, darlings!
- **White Tutu - 'Safe and Timeless' - he must be having a giggle. White is safe and timeless, he says, just like, what? A crisp, white shirt. I'm not sure what he's thinking dearie, because everyone knows, white, whilst sophisticated, doesn't quite pack the 'oomph' or the 'punch', or dare I say it, the 'playful' attitude of pink.
Then he goes on to describe 'how pink is too close to the colour of childhood innocence (think cotton candy - I told you he had a penchant for sweetness), whilst white, is more of a serious 'grown-up colour. Oh my word, darlings, this man doesn't get ballet at all.
The pink tutu girls (we have an 'in' in the Royal Ballet - a cheeky little cherub - they let us in on the gossip you know) - were devastated! And let me tell you, darlings, devastated they were! It’s a miracle none of them stormed his office wielding those pointy tutus. There were whispers, and rumors - "He hates pink because he can't take a little bit of 'frou-frou'," one whisper said, with another whispering back: "His taste in ballerinas, as it happens, isn’t very good either, he's never appreciated our lovely 'Pink Swans'.
And, of course, all of this - the tutued cat fight and this 'ranking' - sent the media into overdrive. They fell for the dramatic scene as if it was a new perfume line by Chanel!
Now the great ballet world is abuzz. You’d think a new choreographer with a penchant for, I don't know, throwing kittens onto the stage, would have more buzz! But no darling, tutus is the talk of the town, tutus! And, it seems all of those whispered debates over the years between pink tutu girls and the white tutu devotees have exploded, finally breaking out of those grand, glittering opera houses. The papers are calling it: 'Ballet Wars.' A ballet war! Oh darlings! A war, about the colours of tutus. Isn't it all just hilarious!
All I can say, darling, is - thank goodness I had the sense to invest in a lovely white leotard, it can be paired with absolutely anything! Pink tutus for dancing on, white for my leisurely stroll in the park - it's about the duality of the woman we all are!