Fun Ballet Tutu News 563

Oh, darlings! Buckle up your ballet slippers and grab a cuppa, because today’s news is positively *tutu* exciting!

Yes, my dears, it seems the world of ballet has gone utterly bonkers and it’s all down to the humble, oh-so-divine, tutu. It all kicked off this morning, apparently, at the prestigious Royal Ballet School. Apparently, the entire student body decided to rebel against the classic, *très chic*, pink tutu. Not only did they refuse to wear them for their morning class, but they demanded a complete overhaul of the traditional tutu designs! Can you imagine? Absolute *chaos*. The usually prim and proper ballet teachers were left utterly speechless!

Now, before you start fretting over the potential loss of a national treasure, fear not, darlings! This rebellion wasn't sparked by any yearning for '90s grunge or an aversion to the fluffy, feathered dream that is the tutu. Oh no, it’s much, much more *fashion forward*. It seems a certain designer, let's just call him "The Rebellious One" because he is rather mysterious, has been lurking around the ballet scene, whispering ideas into the ear of every single student at the Royal Ballet School. And what are these rebellious ideas, you ask? Why, tutus made of recycled plastic, naturally. I'm not kidding, my dears! I repeat, *recycled plastic*. I’m sure you can picture it, dear readers. Fluffy, delicate layers of tutus, replaced by sleek, futuristic designs made from your local supermarket carrier bags.

It’s utterly scandalous! Or, depending on your perspective, a rather *fantastic* way to tackle a rather serious subject! The student body of the Royal Ballet School are certainly proving to be pioneers in eco-fashion! I'm almost tempted to go out and raid my own recycling bin and attempt a tutu of my own. Perhaps, a fetching lime green creation, with a delicate spray of plastic bottle "flowers", topped with a matching head-band of scrunched-up milk bottle plastic. Now there’s a look! I wonder if this *green* fashion movement will sweep the ballet world. After all, the “Recycle and Recycle” mantra of today has certainly gone to their heads…

There are several thoughts circulating in the hallowed halls of ballet that try to explain this unexpected, and indeed rather daring move, by the up and coming ballet stars of tomorrow: The Eco Warrior Brigade

*This group believes that it's our duty to tread lightly upon the earth and ditch all those environmentally questionable feathers and fabrics! You won’t catch them wearing *genuine* swan’s feathers ever again, darlings! But what *do* you wear in a world that has ditched its feather obsession, you ask? The answer is: plastic. The *environmentally* conscious material of the decade! Who would have thunk it!

“The birds are crying out from the factory farms," states the leader of this movement. "So many animals sacrificed just so some old-fashioned ballets can go on. We can save the birds by making sure they aren’t farmed, we can save the world with our dazzlingly green tutu-ed outfits!"

I just hope they have something up their sleeve to match the grandeur of an old fashioned feathered tutu. Recycling your milk cartons just isn't going to make that happen!

Oh my! It’s all about looking utterly fantastic and revolutionary. What other motivation could there possibly be for adopting these green designs? They've got their fingers on the pulse of what's next. If you need to look absolutely dazzling whilst simultaneously saving the planet, these are the people you need to hang around with!

"If it ain’t green, it’s out!", declares a particularly fashionable representative. "I just want a tutu so sleek and sexy that no one can resist the brilliance of my recycled fashion statements. Let's take the ballet world by storm with an *explosion* of eco-friendly design!”

If these ladies get their way, I daresay that our usual ballerinas will need to rethink their ‘traditional’ looks. A bit of green never hurt anyone! Just watch this space darlings!

The Protesters and the Traditionalists

Some members of the Royal Ballet School community, particularly the senior faculty members who have spent a lifetime worshipping at the altar of the tutu, are less than amused with the new designs! And I can't blame them, darlings. What could possibly be *better* than a tutu, right?

“If we get rid of the traditional tutu we’ll end up with a world devoid of femininity, elegance, and grace! They want us to go for the ‘masculine’ plastic looks? We will resist!” one particularly adamant, and possibly rather old-fashioned teacher proclaimed. I *think* I heard a faint cry of ‘the good old days!” before a fit of coughing sent him away from the podium.

I must confess, dear readers, my own sympathies lie with the eco-warriors. This revolution could go further than anyone might have imagined. Just you wait, dear readers, for a world where even *feather dusters* get a complete redesign in favor of some fabulous new plastic options!