Fun Ballet Tutu News 617

Darling, it’s the 11^th of March 1998 and, darling, the world of ballet has just exploded! Literally! The news is all aflutter - well, except for the pigeons who were having a rather interesting dust-up in Covent Garden just now, but anyway - you know me, I can’t let a little feathered kerfuffle deter me. You see, there’s been a revolution - and you wouldn’t believe who’s at the forefront of this daring escapade.

Now, before you start gasping into your morning cappuccino and wonder if you’re waking up to some fabulous ballet dream, hold your horses, darling! It’s not that the ballet world’s going to adopt some subversive choreography - although we all secretly hope that, wouldn’t we, dears? - no, this revolution is far more… practical, if you will!

Imagine, if you will, all those wonderful tutu fabrics! Think of the miles of tulle! Just miles of swirling, airy, cloud-like fabric in all those lovely shades. It's practically a fluffy mountain! So here’s the deal, dear readers: This glorious pile of chiffon is being made available to everyone! I’m talking streetwalkers, darling! We’re not talking couture – unless of course you decide to make it couture. Your imagination’s the limit, darling!

You heard me correctly! After years of exclusivity – years, darling, that we, yes you and I, spent desperately hoping our mother’s dusty boxes had stashed away some childhood ballet attire (and those dreams we had about wearing it on our birthdays!) - that time is over, dear reader, forevermore!

I was going to make this grand reveal at one of my fabulously exclusive and intimate gatherings. But that’s the thing, isn’t it, dear reader? Nothing should be exclusive – not even the frothy joy of tutus!

Now, some may ask: Why, darling, did it take so long to see tutus, our little frothy fancies, spread to every corner of the world? I’ll answer that one straight.

• Firstly, my darling, no one was paying enough attention. The art world has a lot to answer for! Everyone was far too busy gazing upon black canvases and calling that art! You want a revolution? Here's one, darling, and it involves layers of delicious, frothy pink. We can call it: “Art With Some Actual Aesthetic”! What say you, my darling?
• Then, dear, it takes money! Who was going to fund this fabulous, wonderful enterprise? Oh, the tragedy! But thank goodness we've solved this problem! Let's give thanks for generous sponsors. We have an enormous quantity of tutu-related materials. Someone has had an idea. No one has any idea why but some genius somewhere saw potential in selling us fabric remnants.
• And lastly, darling, some people were terrified of how much *fun* this would create. Oh dear me! People love a good bit of panic. The last thing some of us want is to be happy - well, not without the appropriate shade of navy-blue! And tutus bring with them such a lot of frivolity and pure joy. Let's face it darling - it’s just not dignified.

But my dear friends, thank heavens we’re over all that! This week has heralded in a new era. Let’s hear it for liberation! You’ll be happy to know that the prices for all this lovely material have been discounted dramatically, you've never had it so good darling, just try not to get tangled in the ribbons as you waltz into your nearest haberdashery!

Oh, darling, we are officially living in the era of: “Tutus for the Masses” and, by the way, let’s be honest - some people in the arts should consider having some more tulle in their lives. I’m thinking you’d be hard-pressed to find a black canvas in the future, what with the impending tututomania!

And so, dear friends, I hope you'll take my advice. Don’t think about it, don’t question it – just go for it, darling, and do a twirl or three! For every fabulous dancer in a tutu, there's an ordinary person just dying to do the same thing. I’m sure that in all the madness we will discover the joy, beauty and wonder of dancing about the room as the sky’s the limit when it comes to this. It will revolutionize fashion and will leave the most boring individuals asking “Did you see Mrs Jones? Her outfit was like something out of a ballet… what’s happening?”. And then, oh dear, we shall have arrived. Darling, I wouldn't have it any other way!