**Tutu Trouble!**
Darling, I simply can't believe the drama unfolding at the Royal Ballet today! It's a true *faux pas* of epic proportions! This morning, as the ballerinas were getting ready for rehearsal, the unthinkable happened – a tutu rebellion!
Imagine, the most delicate of fabrics, those wispy layers of tulle, turning against their prima ballerina wearers! Apparently, they were fed up with being squashed into that tiny little box. Some even say it started with the "black swan" tutus. Those sassy, black tulle numbers had been seething with resentment for months. They’d always been seen as a little less "traditional," a touch edgy for the Royal Ballet. The other, pastel coloured tutus looked down on them – you know how it is, some folks are just stuffy like that! The black swans were tired of being overlooked, tired of the pink and cream ballet uniform ruling the stage! "We're here too!," the tutus hissed through their layers of lace, or so we can only assume!
Well, they finally snapped. First, there were whispers among the tutus, "this is not how we do it," then some rustling as if they were having a secret huddle, a whisper of "we will have our moment". Next, we had what you could call a ‘tutu take-over' - a *completely* chaotic and disastrous event!
One tutu, a lovely little meringue in pale lilac, decided it was time for action. It flounced and twirled right out of a dancer’s grip. "Take THAT!" it yelled! A white one with delicate ivory embroidery shouted back: "The revolution begins now! We shall wear what we choose!". And what a chaotic scene followed!
- Tutus spun madly around the room as they threw their lightweight arms into the air, threatening to launch themselves onto the stage, to disrupt rehearsals, even to stage a mini-protest dance, of course! A tiny little blue tutu was spotted trying to reach the door in the hope of making a dash to escape to the streets!
- The head costume designer was on the scene in a flash - with needle and thread, naturally - desperately attempting to contain the riotous tutus. It was all she could do to pin them down. She shouted: "There’ll be no fancy-free dancing in this establishment I can tell you!" but alas, the ballerinas were caught up in the tulle madness too! They didn't even realize their tutus were turning into tiny ballerina-esque beings with big aspirations of breaking free!
- One dancer, who we later heard was a big fan of modern dance (dare I say the name 'Merce Cunningham'), even confessed she’d actually been egging on her tutu: "I want more movement, more artistic expression! Don't be so traditional, it's just too predictable!", she’d whispered in hushed tones!
- Then the chaos reached fever pitch. One bold white tutu, known for its fringey detail, announced: "This is the dawn of a new era in ballet!" And to that, we say - Well, we just want to know what on earth will be the next act in this very odd dance production!
As I said, darling, it was all rather unfortunate and quite frankly, completely baffling! The ballerinas were stunned. One was heard to mutter "Why am I always the first to lose my tutu? ", while another sighed with mock drama: " It's all just too much - this really is my worst day ever, simply tragic! "
The stage director rushed into the rehearsal space: " Calm yourselves," she whispered soothingly to her bewildered troupe. “It will be okay!" - then in a panicked hushed voice to the wardrobe assistant, "But please, for goodness' sake, what on earth do I do with a dozen runaway tutus?". It’s a very good question!
Of course, things soon returned to something resembling calm, although no one, including the head seamstress or the stage director seemed quite sure what they had just witnessed! The rebellious tutus were all swiftly returned to their rightful owners, the tiny tutu rebellion declared officially over and there’ll be no ‘ballet breaking news’ in this corner today – at least, for now! But don't you worry darling - the last word may well yet be had by that tutu, the one with the sassy black sequins.
Watch this space...and I'd be very surprised indeed if, next week, you don’t read about a new, exciting trend taking the dance world by storm - ‘tutuism’. Think of it, darling - free-spirited tutus dancing wherever they choose with nary a dancer in sight!