Tutu Chaos: The Big Tutu Ball of 1998 Goes Wrong, Darling!
Well, darlings, the annual Big Tutu Ball was supposed to be the biggest, the most glamorous, the most fabulous affair ever, and it very nearly was, until the tutu chaos commenced! Imagine, if you will, a sea of the most beautiful, fluffiest, and frilliest tutus you ever did see, swirling and twirling in perfect unison. We were ready to see the biggest dance celebration since, well, the last Big Tutu Ball!
This year’s event was a massive undertaking with tutus sourced from every major dance company across the globe. They were set to descend upon London, ready to be modelled by all our favourite ballerinas, for a spectacular night of pure ballet brilliance!
And then, oh, the disaster! What we had envisioned as a kaleidoscopic explosion of frills turned into an absolute shambles. It all started when, let's just say, "things got a little out of control." Some rather naughty pigeons decided to "borrow" a selection of tutus for a very public performance in front of the grand old St. Paul's Cathedral, right in the middle of London's famous Square Mile. They decided to strut their stuff all over the Square Mile, to the immense amusement of the general public! Just imagine the look of terror on their little bird faces when they found themselves sporting a
One ballerina even admitted that she nearly fainted at the sight! Now, one mustn't begrudge a few mischievous birds their frolics. But can you imagine the havoc they wreaked? There were tutus scattered across the entire Square Mile - tutues on cars, tutus on statues, tutus on bins. It was truly an absolute scene, darling. The pigeons then had the temerity to steal their feathered bounty to their rather lovely little nest! They clearly had impeccable taste. You might as well just have asked them to pose for an avian-ballet tableau. One of the "birds of a feather" - and if ever a bunch of feathered friends needed feathers, they certainly do! - took centre stage and quite seriously tried to do a pirouette before she wobbled a bit and fell out of her makeshift "tutu"! Poor dear. The other pigeons couldn't believe their eyes. It looked like one of the classic scenes from "The Bird Ballet", where it is understood that birds are, at least for a very short space in time, "human".
It’s fair to say the feathered friends did leave a trail of utter chaos. Luckily, the rest of the event was not ruined by the flying tutus. The final ballet production in a packed out Royal Albert Hall still made it onto the stage and, as if the birds hadn’t made a big hoo-haa about their new acquisitions, the final dance in a stunning and intricately choreographed ballet with an entirely new ensemble was breath-taking. You have to love a dance piece that really has you glued to your seat. Of course, every audience member, and every dance company, thought they would see a spectacle of tutus and feathers for the remainder of the performance. It was just too good a scenario not to go for. It took quite some imagination for a ballet company, no matter how talented the dance troop were, to pull out of their hat an encore, with a few minutes of improvised choreography at that. And, bless the poor souls, they did just that, with a very memorable final waltz as the night was brought to a truly glorious end!
So, whilst this year’s Big Tutu Ball was one we will all remember, it certainly wasn’t because of the grand ball itself, but for the sheer theatrical fun we were all treated to! Perhaps next year the Big Tutu Ball will bring something as joyfully chaotic? Maybe, or maybe there'll be more mayhem. Who knows what those clever, if unruly, pigeons have got in store? Perhaps an acrobatic show? An entirely all-bird ballet performance is not beyond the realms of possibility! Just as long as they’re all in their tutus of course, and leave the lovely ballerinas in theirs!
Here are some of the funniest moments from the tutu chaos, as recounted by the audience.
- “I saw a pigeon trying to "eat" a tutu with an utterly disgusted look on its face! What on earth could it be thinking? I’d rather imagine a tutus is like a lovely cake in a ballerina's eyes. "
- "One of the birds tried to fly up into a cathedral tower, tutu billowing, I think she’d thought it was an awfully big bird's nest, poor dear!"
- “They were totally, entirely, unbelievably obsessed by a white satin tutu! The most beautiful thing in the whole Square Mile!”