Darling, gather 'round, it's time for a little tea and tittle-tattle about the most divine dance craze sweeping the nation. You won't believe what's happening in the world of ballet – tutudrama, darlings, tutudrama! It's all happening today, 10th October, 1998, a date that will forever be etched in the annals of dance history.
This week, my darlings, it seems everyone from the Queen to the corner shopkeeper is talking about tutus! They're practically popping up everywhere you look – from the aisles of Tesco to the catwalk at Milan Fashion Week. What's caused this sudden tutufication? It all started, you see, with the launch of a brand-new perfume, *Tutu* by the legendary fashion house of Chanel. It's causing a real frenzy in the world of scent. But what exactly is so exciting about *Tutu*? Why, the scent, darling, it's *divine*, a perfect blend of pearlescent musk, fairy dust and a hint of something rather intoxicating, like the lingering perfume of a perfectly pirouetted dancer.
Of course, you can't have *Tutu* without *tutus*. I do mean, how *can* you? The advertising campaign is nothing short of a masterpiece. Imagine, darling, a series of stunning photographs featuring beautiful ballerinas in gorgeous Chanel couture – **gorgeous tulle**, all bathed in soft lighting, a touch of **fairy dust** and **breathtakingly stylish** **tututude**. It's just *dreamy*. And the impact is absolutely **divine**, inspiring a wave of tutuedness that’s taking the world by storm.
But wait, my dears, there's more. The impact isn't confined to the world of high fashion. The most delightful and surprising consequence, I would say, is that **even the most ordinary amongst us** is now donning tulle. Even your local newsagents is seeing a **run** on tulle! Even **your cat**, darling, might be wearing it (though I doubt *he's* wearing Chanel).
A bit of tulle can really go a long way. Here’s a little something from my notebook to give you a taste of the madness:
- The Queen was spotted at Balmoral sporting a fabulous new **tutu**, apparently **specifically chosen** for her holiday trip. Apparently, it's a **vintage number** she's kept tucked away in her royal wardrobe for years, *perfectly preserved* for an **extra special** occasion – who'd have thought?!
- The Daily Mail is running an article titled, **“Should Tutus be Allowed in Public?**,” arguing the case for *tutuedness* amongst our more **serious-minded**, everyday folk! Apparently, a woman in Sheffield **was apprehended by police** after she *apparently* decided it would be *most* appropriate to **go grocery shopping** in full-length **ballet regalia**.
- The Prime Minister was photographed at 10 Downing Street with a bunch of tulips – in fact, he's *apparently* made it his mission to **turn the UK into a tutu-lover's paradise.** He's also *apparently* ordered **tulips for every Downing Street window** and a **large batch of ballet shoes** to replace the **perfectly lovely, albeit decidedly un-stylish** shoes usually used for **delivery of parliamentary papers**. He also *apparently* has a **whole** **closet full of tutus**, all in the **most splendid** colours – I just *love* a man with a touch of flamboyance!
- Even the Royal Ballet has announced a **special ballet performance**, featuring **tutus galore** – even **the male dancers** have agreed to **make an appearance in their own little tutu-tastic moments** . A **first in the history of ballet,** don't you think?
- It seems even the most *stodgy* **investment banker** on **Wall Street** is getting into the **tutu trend.** **Every other fashion show** these days has **some variation of the tutu, either as **a **head-turning addition to a power suit** or **a **floating skirt worn over some stylishly chic trousers**. Even **Beyoncé** has been photographed in a **rather fabulous pink tutu**, *rumored to have been** **designed by Vivienne Westwood**!
All of this makes me just a tad concerned – will we, as a nation, *ever* escape this **divine but possibly dangerous** **tutu craze** ? It remains to be seen what the future holds – but it **promises to be an extremely interesting, and perhaps somewhat **chaotic** year! Let's just hope that everyone knows how to **keep their tulle straight**! In the words of the great choreographer Twyla Tharp, “Let the **tutus** fly, darlings – it's the only way to go!"