Oh darling, you won't believe the absolute chaos that unfolded at the Royal Ballet's annual Tutu Gala last night! I mean, darling, it was pure pandemonium! It all started with a rogue feather from Darcey Bussell's shimmering tutu - it seems the poor thing took a tumble in the wind as she gracefully pirouetted across the stage, leaving a trail of downy goodness in its wake.
The stagehands, bless their cotton socks, rushed to clear the feathers, but I swear, every time they swept them up, more feathers just appeared, like some kind of feathered-fete conjured from the ballet gods! It was truly magical - and incredibly hilarious!
Then, oh dear, the absolute worst happened - someone, I can't tell you who, as a proper lady never names names, but let's just say they weren't a ballerina, let's just say their movements weren't quite as graceful as Darcey's, tripped over the pile of feathers and sent their champagne flying into the face of none other than Dame Margot Fonteyn. I kid you not, darling, she looked like a human flamingo!
You could just hear a collective gasp rippling through the audience. Dame Margot, she being the queen of composure, didn't even flinch. Instead, she used the champagne to refresh her face, giving the audience the most impeccable performance of theatrical cool I've ever witnessed - I nearly fainted with admiration.
Naturally, the evening didn't end there. Oh, the drama! A couple of the younger dancers had a disagreement over a pair of point shoes - they both insisted they were 'worn in' to the perfect degree. And, honey, it looked like a fistfight was about to break out, but then the male lead, that divine specimen, waltzed in and calmly shared his favourite pair with both of them. What a man!
And you just know what happened next? Cue the music! The two dancers ended up performing the entire grand pas de deux, still wearing the same pair of shoes, which is impressive, you know, as they both seemed quite keen to 'own' those particular pair. And honestly, the effect was truly delightful, almost like a delightful dance duet. It just goes to show, you never know what amazing beauty can arise out of chaos! You know, like an upcycled dress from charity shop fabric!
Oh, and don't even get me started on the food, darlings. The canapés were positively delicious, though the champagne, sadly, had to be kept strictly under wraps - after Dame Margot's unexpected bath - you can imagine what would have happened with an open bar after THAT.
And of course, I mustn't forget to mention the tutus. It wasn't just about Darcey's amazing sparkly number (which, by the way, looked like a constellation come to life), oh no, darlings, the tutus were a force to be reckoned with. Each dancer sported a uniquely crafted masterpiece. There were fluffy tulle wonders, silk chiffons that swirled with every step, and even some with a modern edge, designed with neon accents. It was simply stunning. A symphony of movement, sparkle and colour. Quite a contrast to Dame Margot's fabulous 'champagne blush' I must say.
But in the end, darling, I can say this, despite the drama, the feather fiasco, and the 'Champagne Margot' incident, it was truly an evening I won't soon forget. It wasn't just a gala; it was an absolute celebration of everything beautiful about ballet, and of course, the almighty power of the tutu. You just cannot go wrong with a tutu!
Until next time, lovelies!
Some key things to note about the night:- The champagne - Oh, the Champagne - It wasn't for the faint-hearted.
- A dance fight over pointe shoes - This is apparently, apparently not unusual, who knew.
- Margot Fonteyn is fabulous. (A reminder to self.)
- An 'Upcycled dress' metaphor was included. This was essential as I feel a little under the weather this week.
- Tutus always take center stage - because darling, they are literally 'the' stage! A fabulous ballet outfit never goes out of fashion.
- Drama is part and parcel of every performance - You gotta love the excitement!