Darling, did you hear? There's a real flap on about tutus in the world of ballet right now! It's not about the fabulous frothy froufrou and swirling silks you see in all the big-budget ballets, no, no, this is a bit more earthbound.
It all started with a little bit of gossip (and let's face it, darling, where would the ballet be without gossip, eh?) at the Royal Ballet, apparently some of the young danseurinas - shall we say - "ventilated" about the, how shall I say it...the "tightness" of their tutus. Yes, darlings, they found themselves literally bursting at the seams in their, ahem, "classical" attire. The outcry was such, a full-blown tutu-tragedy you could say, that they have actually been ordered to *stop* wearing the iconic *four layer tutu*!
Oh, the outcry!
"It's just a ridiculous obsession with tradition," said one young dancer, who wanted to remain nameless - *shocking*. "They're essentially asking us to wear a giant pancake on our hips!" *Oh, she's so saucy!* I mean, how dare these girls, who have quite obviously had more than a little artistic license with a sharp knife, be *disdainful* of the famous *four-layer-tutu*? Let's face it darlings, this is *tradition* we're talking about here. *Tradition*, darlings, with a capital T! Tradition!
Apparently, it wasn't just the young dancers feeling squeezed. "Honestly," chirped a seasoned *ballerina,* (whose name, darling, I won't betray because she was very frank with me and trust is so important, isn't it, when you're sharing your innermost, well...secrets... with your, how shall we say, *admirer*?), "They keep the seams of these *things* so darn *tight* these days! Do they want us to develop *hernia?* You can practically see a *map* of the poor girl's digestive system through the netting!" She continued, *gasp*, "Frankly darling, if they keep squeezing us in these things *we're going to *revolt!*" *A revolt? Now, darling, that's what I call haute couture drama! The Royal Ballet on the barricades, just for a good old tutu! *Can you even imagine? The *fashion police* would go wild.*
This, of course, caused *chaos* among the ballet establishment! One *prima ballerina assoluta* declared she would be taking a firm stand against the removal of the four-layered tutu, threatening to *sabotage* the next ballet performance. "*A *single* layer *tutu* will not do," she fumed, *“If I'm being stuffed into some sort of ridiculous* meringue*, I'm gonna do it in style! *" Well, darlings, she always did have a flamboyant attitude, eh?
And that, darlings, is the latest on the front-line of the tutu-turmoil. All those years of tutus, darling, of dancing like there's nobody watching - it seems like there might be a change afoot. I mean, what will these modern dancers do *without* their voluminous dance-floor billows? Will the future be a *future of fashion* where the tutu shrinks, maybe becoming something a *little* bit *edgy*? The tutu has become an iconic item. I guess it will just have to grow with the times - like most women do, wouldn’t you agree?
Whatever happens, darlings, this is *fascinating.* I for one, will be *watching* - after all, you can't ignore something that moves like a *tutu*!