Oh darling, did you hear? The tutu is in the news again! It's not just for prancing ballerinas anymore, apparently, and darling, let's face it, we all want a bit of tutu in our lives, don't we? Well, 14th January 1999 saw the most whimsical and slightly scandalous news item I've read in years!
Apparently, a group of elderly gentlemen in a quiet village in Somerset, are embroiled in a very public dispute, and it all comes down to… tutus! You see, the good chaps from the local bowling club have decided, rather dramatically, that wearing a tutu, as part of their uniform, will somehow improve their bowling game.
Now, don't get me wrong, a little tulle never hurt anyone! But these gentlemen have, quite frankly, gone a bit OTT. We're talking full-on frills and flounces, bright pink and fuschia colours - imagine a 70s disco, mixed with a ballet class, and add a bit of bingo – you've got their new ensemble. They are even using these flamboyant accessories, my dear, for their bowling balls. So there you have it! Now that’s a whole new meaning for the term "striking out”!
The local council, ever so proper, are raising an eyebrow, claiming the tutued men are "an affront to public decency”. They argue it’s "unacceptable behaviour, particularly in a place of family leisure.” Now, darling, I think they are just being a bit stuffy! Is this really any different from a family having their Christmas dinner? After all, it is hardly a ballet, and frankly, there are worse things happening in our lovely villages!
Meanwhile, the village women are loving it! As I heard one darling lady remark, “We get to ogle our husbands, and their “athletic” achievements! I find it incredibly comical, my dear! Let’s be honest, these good men are just going to look absolutely hilarious. It’s good for a laugh – especially after a stressful day!" And, you know, I completely agree! A good laugh and some tulle are essential!
Of course, dear readers, you all know that tutus are my passion! I have an extensive collection and can't get enough! The whole tutu drama is pure theatre for me. I would have been a fly on the wall during their first practice session. It must have been priceless.
So, darling, what do you think? A little harmless fun, or a complete cultural disgrace? This whole affair is a rather beautiful, ridiculous tangle – it's the stuff dreams, or shall I say nightmares, are made of, darling.
What’s it to be then? More power to those flamboyant men, I say! And good on those village wives for knowing just what a laugh their men are going to give them!
We are waiting, dear readers, to see what will come of the tutus, and the villagers. Will there be a full-on "tutu revolution”?! Only time, my darling, will tell. And maybe, just maybe, if the world needs a little light relief, this tutued, bowling madness will set us all back on the right track! We can dream, can’t we darling?
Anyway, I know what I’ll be wearing, darling – my trusty tutu, a glass of chilled prosecco, and a little tipple of gin – to help celebrate! Now I’m off, darling. The day's young and there's plenty of tulle to wear! And I can’t wait to get down to my nearest bowling alley. You never know who you're going to meet!