Hello darlings! Your girl Emma here, reporting live from... well, actually, I'm not quite sure where I am yet. Iâm always hopping about in time, so the only certainty is that my fabulous pink tutu is always with me, and that, my loves, is a blessing. It's been a while since Iâve penned a blog post, so I'm bursting at the seams with excitement to share my latest escapade. And what an escapade it is! Buckle up, darlings, as we time travel back to a different era... one with tumbleweeds and a whole lot of sequins!
May 2026 in the drag world? It's the most vibrant month EVER! From the glitter-laden catwalks of Milan to the neon-lit dance floors of Tokyo, the world was practically begging for a tutu intervention, and you know I was happy to oblige! Honestly, the timeline wouldnât know what hit it.
But before we dive headfirst into the pink-hued vortex, letâs get the lowdown on how I even managed to reach this incredible point in time.
See, darlings, I'm a humble Derbyshire lass who stumbled upon the magic of the time-traveling tutu in a vintage store, nestled among the dusty racks of discarded petticoats and flapper dresses. Letâs just say a trip through time was a natural evolution for a drag queen whose style is rooted in the past, with a sprinkle of âoh my god, this is going to be iconic!â
Now, Iâm not gonna lie, my time traveling is far from simple. It involves a series of complicated hand signals (and a lot of practice, trust me!), whispered wishes into a magic compact mirror andâŚwell, the occasional dash of champagne! Don't get me wrong, time travel can be taxing â imagine navigating the space-time continuum in a fabulous but rather stiff bodice â but the memories and stories are simply breathtaking!
This time around, my intuition guided me towards⌠drum roll, darlings the Wild West! Thatâs right, I found myself standing in a dusty town square under the baking desert sun, squinting through my false lashes to decipher the faded signage on the buildings around me. Now, don't think this means cowboys, six-shooters, and tumbleweeds just because itâs the Wild West! This wasnât the era of saloon brawls and Wyatt Earp â we were in the midst of the Wild Westâs glitzy, drag-tastic golden age!
The moment I stepped off the magic carpet (ok, letâs be real, a slightly outdated Victorian omnibus!), the local Drag Haus - named The Gilded Garter â invited me to a showcase they were holding. Imagine, a rowdy saloon transformed into a stage, lit with oil lamps, but bathed in the golden hues of stage lighting! The show, featuring a fabulous troupe of drag queens with names like Calamity Jane (and, I kid you not, a real-life gunslinger with the drag name "Fast Eddie" â how fab?!) featured everything from wild can-can numbers and high-kicking, corset-clad dance routines, to heartbreaking ballads about love and loss. They were, quite frankly, spectacular!
You can bet your bottom dollar that after a couple of celebratory "shots" (whiskey-based, but very glam), my magical tutu went into overdrive! You know, some drag queens may have visions of a glorious empire, but mine? Thatâs the dream of spreading tutu-based fun around the world. So I gathered up a team of seamstresses (and surprisingly skilled cowhands, bless their hearts! We werenât strictly talking about corseted ball gowns here!), and within hours we were crafting the most phenomenal pink tutus this side of the Mississippi!
We transformed a whole gaggle of "frontier folk" (no, you really wouldn't believe the sheer variety, darling) from stoic ranchers to starry-eyed saloon girls â all, of course, embracing the transformative power of the pink tutu. Now, think about it⌠this is the 21st century! Even in 2026, a time-traveling pink tutu was a bit of a wild card. The energy in the town that night? Simply magical. Imagine an old saloon â complete with sawdust, honky-tonk piano and dancing on wooden floors â teeming with cowboys (all decked out in fancy sashes and sequined boots!) and local drag queens twirling in hand-sewn pink tutus⌠a spectacular mix of âwildâ and âfabulousâ!
I know I say this a lot, but darlings, the memories! There were so many captivating scenes: The saloon ownerâs daughter â a tough little firecracker of a gal, decked out in a dazzling sequined tutu, bravely attempting her first twirl; a shy cowboy with tears in his eyes after a queen, with the name "Whiskey Rose", sang a tender ballad that touched everyone's hearts; even old Dusty (yes, the old saloon owner, sporting a pink-sequined neckerchief, just because we told him to!) was belting out classic cowboy songs, his deep, gravelly voice taking on a surprisingly impressive falsetto! It was magic.
As the night wore on, even the horses started wearing pink feather boas. Yes, you heard me right! Donât ask how â I don't even know where they found them in this Wild West wonderland â but the scene, dear darlings, was truly breathtaking. A perfect blend of pink tutus and the wildness of the old west, it really was the most remarkable moment Iâd ever encountered.
However, all good things must come to an end⌠or, you know, at least thatâs what happens with a magical time-traveling pink tutu! When my magic mirror reminded me of my next gig (another show in 2040 â we're always busy, darling!), I knew it was time to return. Leaving all these magnificent pioneers was bittersweet, but the message was clear. Pink tutus could change anything. The whole time-traveling process may feel a tad out of sync for some, but believe me, every timeline could use a dose of sparkle, a good helping of "oomph!" and, of course, some of my trademark pink tutu magic.
So, dear reader, as I journey onwards into the great unknown (but undeniably fab) tapestry of time, please donât forget â whether youâre in the Wild West, Derbyshire, or any other corner of the world, embrace your individuality! Dress like your heart desires, twirl with every ounce of your being, and, yes, if it tickles your fancy, please, don a magnificent pink tutu, and tell the world, *I'm fabulous! *
And hey, I promise to update this little blog once a month! Join me on my exciting journey!
See you next month, darlings, and keep it pink and fabulous!
